Article by Lee Boniface
There are several techniques for coping with stress. A relaxing walk, doing something you feel is creative and rewarding, many people find a good workout or run works for them. But coping is not curing. To deal effectively with stress – the type that is of a level that it impacts your wellbeing. You need to look at the route causes of many peoples stress.
Stress is the result of both external and internal factors – what happens combined with how you perceive the event. Your perceptions of its seriousness and importance to you will be a determining factor in your ability to cope with stress. A lost job, an unfulfilling relationship, illness or many any of hundreds of other circumstances can prompt stress. But for those to result in stress, especially long-term, an individual has to evaluate them and him or herself in a certain way.
A person who is aware that by changing your perception of events is much less likely to feel stress for the long term. A person who sees and feels situations realistically, and who has the stress techniques and stress remedies will have the capacity to deal with life’s inherent difficulties more easily. But is that what normally happens in everyday life?
Stress is harmful and few harmful conditions are ‘natural’ in the sense that they are inevitable, however stress is controllable once you understand how its is created, then it can t be overcome.
So to deal with stress it’s necessary to have an objective view of the actual damage. Many situations in life result in a loss of what is important to us, or events can sometimes be outside of our direct control. But companies that experience business reverses do recover, injuries heal, relationships mend or form between new partners, new friends are found.
Even losses that are permanent – the death of a loved one, a bankrupt business – are not equivalent to the loss of life or hope, they can feel like it sometimes but again and again history shows us that this does not always have to be the case. Individuals can, and do, compensate and the amazing thing is sometimes in the most horrendous situations while others around them lose hope they keep theirs. The point to notice here is-same surroundings different perceptions and outlook equal the different results of either suffering or not, or at least to a lesser degree. Time alone doesn’t heal all wounds, but thought and effort can go a long way toward doing so.
When an individual focuses on what is valuable and possible, acute stress is minimized. When thought and effort combine with a realistic attitude toward the inherent hurdles in life, chronic stress is all but impossible.
I am not saying that you have a Pollyanna attitude that ‘everything is always ok, no matter what’. Bad things do happen and I accept that. But that same realism can be the basis for seeing things in perspective that can either serve you in reducing stress or increase your levels of unhappiness and anxiety. Things may be, bad.But, they rarely have to stay that way.
Acknowledging what is real and recognizing that it’s possible to create or acquire new values to replace a loss is key to avoiding long term stress. Long term stress, which often accompanies or leads to depression, tends to be self-reinforcing. You feel bad, so things look bad. Things look bad, so you feel worse.
Objectivity and re-committing oneself to the achievement of what is important to you is essential for breaking the cycle. But recognize that gaining those values is an achievement, one requiring thought and action. Rarely do they simply arrive in some equivalent of a winning lottery ticket.
About the Author
Lee is a stress relief and life balance coach.Lee specialises in ‘communication and interaction’, helping individuals and organisations develop new ways of thinking in order to realise their dreams and outcomes.http://www.stressrelief-coach.com/wordpress/7stresstechniques/
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